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During a workout session, model Nina Agdel must have really been in quite the zone, as she exercised so hard she busted a hole right in the back of her tight dark yoga pants. Apparently, Nina was unaware of the round rip so she pranced around the gym for 20 minutes with her ass-crack exposed. At least she didn't rip the front instead. Once it was pointed out to her that she was giving everyone a free show, instead of fleeing into the change room to put on another pair, or even finish her work out for the day, she decided to snap a selfie and share it to the world on Instagram. I notice that Nina is not wearing any underwear hear and that is quite unsanitary. I seriously don't know how Nina can ever expect to land a man when she's exhibiting gross bad habits such as this. It's truly very sad. Well, the guy on the ground there doesn't seem to mind though. Perhaps they should go on a date or something. Believe me, she's done worse. Way worse.

Image Courtesy Instagram/NinaAgdel © 2015

 

I have no explanation why Lindsay Lohan was inside the Zimmer Cryogenic facility over the weekend but I assume she was looking for some ice cold vodka and figured this place would have the coldest. Too bad Lindsay's lips never froze shut because then we'd never have to hear her lie about anything ever again. It's also too bad Lindsay wasn't frozen and put into hibernation like Han Solo was at the end of Empire Strikes Back because then we could ship her off to Jabba The Hutt where she'd hang permanently on Jabba's chamber wall. And unlike Han, nobody would care enough about Lindsay to ever rescue her. *Sigh* If only.

On another note: does somebody want to explain to me why that other woman is wearing the Hamburger Helper mitt over her hand?

Image Courtesy Instagram

 

 

Quiz Time: Which one of the two people standing together on the left side in this photo will be elected the next President of the United States?

Answer: It won't be the guy on the left with the dried raccoon lying on top of his head and has had to file for bankruptcy 1/2 a dozen times. Nope. Not him. 

But, hey, at least he's got Joey Lawrence's support. Whoa!

Image Courtesy SPLASH

 

Naya Rivera snapped this photo to her Instagram account a few days ago which she captioned "Baby's first bathroom selfie." Does anybody know what building she's in? Is this a public bathroom? Sure looks like it. I never understand why people snap selfies of themselves in public places. I see juice-heads do this very same thing as well in the washroom of the gym I go to. Right with the toilet stalls behind them and then they post those photos to Facebook later. That's right. I'm sure women really get turned on by seeing a dude stand in front of a public toilet stall. At least Naya's smart enough not to stand anywhere near anything nasty like that. Except for the six years on Glee she spent working alongside Lea Michele.

BOOM, SON! I'm out. 

Image Courtesy Instagram

 

 

Surprisingly, Iyanla Vanzant must have forced some sense into Karrueche Tran back when Ivanla interviewed Tran for the OWN network back in April, because she still has refused to give Chris Brown the time of day. Not that he hasn't been trying to get it from her. Chris has tried reaching Karrueche via Instagram, email, texts, radio interviews and finally, showing up unannounced where ever Karrueche might be. I wonder if Karrueche has ever seen Cape Fear because she should take that as a hint as to what can happen when a violent sociopath won't leave you alone. It's also an awesome as shit movie. This too. 

Well she certainly has the right hair color for it. Demi Lovato has been tapped to provide the voice of Smurfette in an upcoming Smurfs movie. Joining her will be Rainn Wilson as the voice of Gargamel and Mandy Patinkin as Papa Smurf. No word on who will voice Azreal the cat but I'm sure right now, Taylor Swift is going to volunteer her kitty Meredith Grey for the job. 

From Entertainment Weekly: The new film will follow Smurfette and her brothers as they search for a legendary Smurfs village, and the movie promises to answer longtime questions — like why are there 99 boys and only one girl? Demi Lovato will star as Smurfette, Mandy Patinkin will voice Papa Smurf, and Rainn Wilson will play the Smurfs’ nemesis Gargamel.

Unlike the two previous Smurf movies, this one will be mostly computer animated in the vein of Tintin and this fall's upcoming Peanuts movie. There will be none to very little live-action scenes. Sounds like a good idea because those previous Smurf movies were horrible. Hey, you know what those movies could have used? A really hot girl bouncing up and down on an exercise ball.

But that pretty much always goes without saying.

Image Courtesy Getty

Suck it, Avengers! Jurassic World (which I'm calling Jurassic Park 4 because that's really what it is) which opened on midnight, this past Friday has already earned an estimated $557 million dollars worldwide setting an all-time record for a film opening in June. Then again, the average movie ticket price these days does cost around $15-16 dollars so I'm certain that factors into it. Hey, here's a tip of mine on what do you do when you're on a movie date with a girl and you pay over $30 for tickets but then can't afford snacks: you do what the cheap-O's do and you stop at the drugstore on the way to the theater and buy a couple of $0.80 chocolate bars and also smuggle in a couple cans of Pepsi inside the pocket of your leather jacket. Wait, is that wrong? Yeah, you're right. That is wrong. I meant smuggle in a few cans of Diet Pepsi. Yeah. There we go.

Thursday, 30 July 2015 20:20

My Recent Weird Taylor Swift Dream

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Here is the just released trailer to Steven Spielberg's upcoming drama/thriller Bridge of Spies which was originally titled St. James Place. I'm glad they changed the title because I'm sure there are many streets named that throughout the country. Movies and TV shows which have street names never do well. Well, besides A Nightmare on Elm Street. And Sesame Street. Hopefully they never decide to combine those two although if it featured Elmo getting murdered in his sleep by Freddy Krueger I might think twice. Anyway, here's a Bridge of Spies plot description:

A dramatic thriller set against the backdrop of a series of historic events, DreamWorks Pictures/Fox 2000 Pictures’ Bridge of Spies tells the story of James Donovan, a Brooklyn lawyer who finds himself thrust into the center of the Cold War when the CIA sends him on the near-impossible task to negotiate the release of a captured American U-2 pilot. Screenwriters Matt Charman and Ethan Coen & Joel Coen have woven this remarkable experience in Donovan’s life into a story inspired by true events that captures the essence of a man who risked everything and vividly brings his personal journey to life.

Oh, okay. So it's a movie with a lot of old guys in the 50's wearing grey suits and screaming at each other. Almost like The Untouchables except that movie had some awesome shoot-outs and Robert De Niro bashing in (Warning: Violence - duh) some guy's skull (2nd Violence warning!) with a baseball bat (warned ya). I'll see Bridge of Spies of course because nobody frames an image like Spielberg but I'm pretty certain teenagers are going to pretend this thing doesn't exist. Should have made Jurassic World if you wanted to really get that teen $$$$, Steve. Also, most of the movie-going public won't even notice - but this is the first Steven Spielberg movie since 1985 which won't be musically scored by John Williams. Spielberg actually only shot this movie this past winter and as he wants it in theaters this October, that left Williams little time to score this film as the composer recently underwent back surgery. Also, Williams will be tied up with recording the Star Wars Episode VII score all summer long. In Williams' place is composer Thomas Newman who is actually my second favorite composer so I have no problem with this choice. Still, no Williams makes me sad. Especially for a Spielberg movie. But it was either hire Newman or loop previous John Williams music into this movie and I don't see where the Ewok's theme would fit in here.

 

This is a few days old but I think it's safe to assume this is what Lindsay Lohan is pretty much doing right this very second. And Every second ever since her probation ended last week. Lindsay has been spending the past week in Venice, Italy with her rumored new boyfriend - who cares what his name is? He'll be old news by the 4th of July. Lindsay is enjoying a dream Italian vacation and lord knows, after 120 hours of hard labor over the course of 3 years, she's sure earned it. So what has Lindsay been doing while in Italy this past week? Did she visit the historic Trevi Fountain? Did she walk the hills of Sicily taking in the rich Italian history? No. She drank. And drank a lot. Well, welcome back, Lindsay. We missed you. I wonder how her friends and family are reacting to this? I wonder if she's hoping for a new TV series to emerge from all this? Who knows, but if a TV show of her life right now should ever come to fruition, I think I've found Lindsay's perfect theme song.

Image Courtesy SplashNews

 

I remember last summer how pretty much every second new song released was either sung by, or featured Nicki Minaj in it and I hope that isn't the case this year - even though radio stations are still playing that stupid "Bang Bang" song. I'm not sure how many songs Nicki plans on releasing this season, but it looks like we're at least in for a few because why else would she be featured on the cover of July's issue of Cosmo? I dunno. But as it says in the top right corner, for only $3.99 you can buy the magazine to find out and when you do, feel free to write me and let me know because I'm not buying this. Thank you.

The big comment getting attention is how Nicki explained that whenever she's getting down with her luvah, she outright demands he satisfy her all the way to an explosive body-tingling, nerve-jangling, teeth-clenching, toe-curling, leg-shaking, sweat-inducing, lip-biting, brain-spinning orgasmic finish EVERY DAMN TIME! Oh, well that sounds just lovely. So, um..how does one demand an orgasm? I don't know if it works that way. Sometimes when a woman is tired or stressed it's not that easy. Maybe she has other things on her mind like paying the bills or giving that big presentation at work. And what kind of orgasms is Nicki specifically referring to? Oral or vaginal orgasms. From what I undertand (which is admittedly extremely very, very little) it's easier for a woman to achieve an orgasm through oral sex rather than vaginal sex. Maybe Nicki prefers that way. Only her and her lover knows for sure. By the way, her lover is Meek Mill and new reports suggest the couple have just split. If it's true, everybody will know they broke up while they see this magazine cover on news-stands all month long with that orgasm quote on there. Ooof. Rough deal, dude. Rough deal.

Image © Cosmopolitan

No, "Meet Caitlyn Jenner" is not the title of the next movie in that stupid Meet The Parents franchise. It's the headline splashed all across the cover of the next issue of Vanity Fair (on sale June 5th) which features Bruce Jenner introducing "Caitlyn", the woman he has become. In an interview for Vanity Fair, conducted by Buzz Bissinger, author Friday Night Lights, Jenner explains his decision to become a woman in this way: “If I was lying on my deathbed and I had kept this secret and never ever did anything about it, I would be lying there saying, 'You just blew your entire life.' "

Today, many people are being extremely supportive of Caitlyn as she embarks on this new life of discovery and are calling her life-changing decision and public reavealing "Extremely brave" and "Courageous." On the other hand, she spent the last 20 years living with Kris Jenner. Caitlyn earned her "courageous" title long ago.

Image Courtesy Annie Liebovitz For Vanity Fair

 

 

Last night in Los Angeles, the three female stars of 1999's Cruel Intentions reunited for the “Cruel Intentions Unauthorised Musical Parody” of the film at Rockwell Table and Stage. Online posts from Reese Witherspoon, Selma Blair and Sarah Michelle Gellar quickly went viral. The three actresses also got up to lip synch to Natalia Imbruglia’s "Torn" which is funny, because I don't remember that song being in the movie. I do remember "Bittersweet Symphony" and that song by Fatboy Slim though. Guess what? It's still annoying.

So, you may not remember, but when Cruel Intentions was released in March 1999, Sarah Michelle Gellar was the biggest star in that movie. Hardly anybody knew who Reese Witherspoon or Selma Blair were. Sarah was hot from her Buffy the Vampire Slayer TV series and for one brief glorious period, in the spring of 1999, Sarah was starring in the #1 movie in the world and a hit critically-acclaimed TV show. Now, 16 years later, her co-star in that movie, Reese Witherspoon (who was third billed at the time behind Gellar and Ryan Phillipe) is the highest-paid actresses in Hollywood, an Academy-Award winner and someone whose films have all earned a combined box-office gross of over one billion dollars. In related news, Sarah Michelle got all dolled up today, picked up the phone, called the paparazzi and went walking down the street.  In an hour there will be paparazzi photos posted online of Sarah Michelle Gellar walking down the street. Gee, so busy, that one. 

Image Courtesy Instagram/Selma Blair

 

 

While her recently released sex tape may never elevate Courtney Stodden to Kim Kardashian levels of fame, money or even popularity, after watching her dance around to Buddy Holly's "It's So Easy", she seems like she'd be perfect to star in a re-make of George Lucas's American Graffiti. She'd also be perfect to star as the Wampa snow creature from George Lucas's Empire Strikes Back. Still not shabby work if she can get it.

Image Courtesy Instagram

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