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Jason S.

Saturday, 17 October 2015 06:57

Well Hello To You, Darya Klishina

I have absolutely no idea who Darya Klishina is but I see she attended something called the F1 2015 Russian Grand Prix at Sochi Autodrom earlier this week. I really have no idea what that is either, but I want somebody to drop her in my Halloween bucket this year. That reminds me: order six foot tall candy bucket. And If I can't find one of those, I'll just use my cousin's truck. He won't mind. He told me he plans on spending Halloween night watching something utterly creepy, terrifying, gruesome and gross on TV - a Donald Trump speech. *Shiver*

Image Courtesy Getty Images.

Published in Celebrity Gossip Tagged under Darya Klishini

Wednesday, 14 October 2015 05:54

Lea Michele Calls Her Butt A "Showstopper"

Scream Queens star Lea Michele is featured on the cover of the Nov. issue of Marie Claire. I see the editors of Marie Claire left Lea's "Esquire" tattoo on her leg. That was nice of them - giving free advertising to the competition like that. How considerate.

Published in Celebrity Gossip Tagged under Lea Michele

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Sorry, Hillary Clinton. The editors of Esquire don't believe you are the sexiest woman alive but you do rock a blue pantsuit like nobody's business. Esquire's choice for the sexiest woman alive of 2015 is Game of Thrones star Emilia Clarke, 28. Clarke, Emmy-nominated actress is one of HBO's highest paid stars. However, in an interview with Esquire, she says she almost never got the part because she looked nothing like the character, Daenerys Targaryen.

 “My agent told the casting director, 'I know that the breakdown for this character is tall and willowy and blonde. I know she’s short and round and brown, but I’d like you to see her,’” she shares. “I had two scenes which told me nothing and not very much time in which to read all those [George R. R. Martin] books. So I did what every good actor does and Wikipedia’d the living crap out of it.”

Oh, so she cheated. Yeah, that's totally what she did. Not cool, Clarke. Not cool at all. So, although Clarke is grateful for the breakout role on GOT, she does admit that it’s also not been the easiest on her emotionally.

“Once, I had to take a little time out,” she shares, acknowledging that at 23 years old, it was hard for her to expose her body, and that she suffered alongside her character. “I said I needed a cup of tea, had a bit of a cry, and was ready for the next scene.

Having a cup of tea and a bit of a cry is what every woman I go on a date with winds up doing after 20 minutes or so. It's true. Okay. Not really. That's not actually true. Instead of tea they order coffee. Then they cry. I feel it's important for me to be totally honest about that detail.

Image Courtesy Esquire

Published in Celebrity Gossip Tagged under Emilia Clarke

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Monday, 12 October 2015 00:00

Taylor Swift Is On Another Magazine Cover

Taylor Swift looks tanned and toned with her hair tousled on the cover of the latest issue of GQ. She also tells them stuff. None of it really important. I decided. Taylor didn't say a whole lot about her boyfriend Diplo, but there are whispers that Tay and Dip (or Taylo) are taking a break from each other. I've learned that when a woman suggests a "break" in a relationship, that means she's tired of kissing you while you have coffee breath and she's looking for somebody new. Or is that the type of thing which only happens to me? Taylor should call me. Sure I have coffee breath sometimes, but Taylor has a dozen cats. I'd hate to imagine what her cat's litter box in the front porch of her $15 million NYC penthouse smells like. Jus' sayin'.

Image Courtesy GQ

Published in Celebrity Gossip Tagged under Taylor Swift

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Wednesday, 30 September 2015 15:59

Naya Rivera Gave Birth

Naya Rivera finally gave birth at Cedars-Sinai hospital in Los Angeles on September 17. Unlike Bristol Palin, Naya isn't shy telling us who her baby-daddy is. It's her husband of 15 months, actor/model Ryan Dorsey and they named their new bunkle of joy, Josey.

From Us Weekly: A Glee-ful arrival! Naya Rivera has given birth to a baby boy, her first child with husband Ryan Dorsey, multiple sources reveal exclusively in the new issue of Us Weekly. The couple welcomed their new arrival earlier this month in L.A. "They are so excited to be first-time parents," one insider tells Us of the Glee alum, 28, and her actor hubby, 32. "It was a very easy pregnancy and birth."

Josey Dorsey reminds me of Ned Dorsey, the character played by Thomas Hayden-Church on the 90's Fox series Ned & Stacey. Damn, did I ever love Ned & Stacey. They should bring that show back for another season like they're now doing with Twin Peaks and X-Files. God, that would be awesome. Hmm...where was I? Oh, yes - Naya's baby. I have no doubt in my mind that Naya will be a great mother. I'm sure Naya will teach her son all about kindness and respect for others. Except to that awful, gross, Lea Michele witch. When Josey is old enough and he runs into that hag Lea, he can just ignore her the way Jessica Lange amazingly did last year.

*Sigh* I will never get tired of watching this. Never.

Published in Celebrity Gossip Tagged under Naya Rivera

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Girl meets boy. Girl is a young actress new to the TV industry. Boy is established from being on a popular teen drama from the 90's. They start going out. They fall in love. They get married. She becomes huge movie star, desired by men all over the globe on account of her stunning looks. She earns millions of dollars. His career goes nowhere. She buys $3 million dollar house. They have children. They fight. They split up. She files for divorce. He won't move out. He apparently can no longer work. He wants her to pay him out of her movie millions from now on - at least until he gets married again - because, boy, what a catch he must be. Amirite, ladies?

Brian Austin Green responded to Megan Fox's divorce filing by also citing "irreconcilable differences" which in his case means 'she won't take me back no matter how much I cry and plead.' He is asking that Megan pay him a substantial amount in "spousal support" due to the fact that he claims he's been unable to work stemming from an automobile accident in which they were hit by a drunk driver last December. Brian claims he suffers from severe vertigo which even impairs his ability to stand up straight. Like Tara Reid every day for the last 15 years. Now that Megan is divorcing him, Brian and Tara should absolutely hook up. Hey look, friggin' awesome love connection right there. Suck it, Eharmony.

Image Courtesy Instagram

Tagged under Megan Fox Brian Austin Green

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Monday, 28 September 2015 23:01

Remember Kim Kardashian? She's Still Around

Freshly nip/tucked face - check!

Red filler injected lips - check!

Boobs on clear display - check!

Skin tight latex dress under blazing hot sunlight - check!

Looks like Kim Kardashian has all her usual bases covered. Too bad for her it's no longer 2011 and Kim's time has passed. Now it's all about her younger sister Kylie Jenner. But let's give it up to Kim for trying. In fact, Kim taught Kylie everything she knows about self promotion on Instagram - which Kim still highly believes in as she posted the above photo on there a few days ago. What do you think these two would do if Instagram went down for nearly an hour the way Facebook did yesterday? They'd probably jump off a bridge or something but I don't believe Kim would drown so much as she'd short circuit as I'm positive she's not even an actual human being and is rather one of those mecha android babes from Spielberg's A.I.

Oh, come on. Don't act like the possibility of that hasn't crossed your mind as well.

Image Courtesy Instagram

Published in Celebrity Gossip Tagged under Kim Kardashian

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Monday, 28 September 2015 17:28

Kaley Cuoco Is Single

Big Bang Theory star Kaley Cuoco has finally dumped her moocher, lazy-ass husband, (retired) tennis player Ryan Sweeting after 21 months of marriage. You may have noticed that over the past year, the credits for BBT listed her as Kaley Cuoco-Sweeting. This was similar to when Meadow Soprano married some idiot a decade ago and her name was changed in the credits for The Sopranos. Then she divorced him and she went back to her old name - but her married name still shows up on the DVD sets and in re-runs. I imagine Kaley's situation will be similar. It will be a constant reminder of a two year period where Kaley lost her mind over someone they were in love with. Pfft. Been there.

Kaley announced the end of her marriage to People this past Friday. Word is that she kicked Ryan out of her Sherman Oaks home last month. The pair did not attend any Emmy parties during September leading people to assume the marriage was in trouble. Last year, Kaley signed a contract which granted her around $1 million per episode of TBBT. There has been speculation that Kaley did not enter into a pre-nup when she got married. Of course, how could she know that marrying a man whom she'd only known for four months wouldn't last the test of time? She's not psychic, people.

Kaley had better call famed celeb divorce lawyer Laura Wasser (who is currently overseeing Megan Fox's divorce.) Laura was the attorney who got Mel Gibson to fork over $400 million to his wife Robin during that couple's split. I hope Kaley gets to Laura before Ryan does or she'll be doing a lot more than removing all his photos from her Instagram  - which is a strange thing to do when breaking up with somebody. I find making several photocopies of a photo of your ex to then jump up and down on in a giant puddle of dirty mud water is a much more healthy way to deal with a breakup. I think I heard that on Dr. Phil once.

Image Courtesy Esquire

Published in Celebrity Gossip Tagged under Kaley Cuoco

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Sunday, 20 September 2015 00:00

Amanda Seyfried To Star In TWIN PEAKS

Benjamin Horne will certainly like this. There's going to be a new girl arriving in the town of Twin Peaks and she will be played by Amanda Seyfried. TVLine reports that Seyfried will play a "pivotal" role in the upcoming series, now (finally) in production.

Hmm....Will she play the daughter of Agent Cooper and Annie Blackburn? Will she play the daughter of Shelly and Bobby? Will she portray an FBI agent sent by Gordon Cole to find out whatever happened to Cooper (he's still in the black lodge wishing that dancing, backwards speaking dwarf would shut up for just two lousy minutes), will she play the new receptionist at Sheriff Truman's police station after Lucy retired because the office bought a Keurig machine and Lucy's coffee making duties were no longer necessary? Will she be the new proprietor of One Eyed Jack's? Will be she Mike's daughter who gets death stares from Nadine every time she drives by Big Ed's Gas Farm? Oooooh....maybe she will play the next incarnation of Killer Bob. But then her name would have to be changed - probably to Killer Brenda or something. That could work. After all, Amanda did co-star in Mean Girls with Lindsay Lohan so, hey, she knows all about lunatics.

Published in Celebrity Gossip Tagged under Amanda Seyfried Twin Peaks

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Lindsay Lohan was scheduled to appear at the Toronto Film Festival on Sunday, but the plan was abruptly canceled — and rumors quickly spread the troubled starlet was kept out of Canada because of her criminal record. Lohan was meant to appear at nightclub Set on Sunday at a party promoting her upcoming  psychological thriller Inconceivable. (re: that fake movie she announced almost two years ago at Sundance). But an organizer of the event informed everybody that the appearance was canceled almost at the last minute because “the timing did not work out for everyone to get to Toronto" (re: her very recently separated sugar daddy wouldn't pay her way to Toronto first class like she wanted).

But that's okay.

That gave Lindsay the opportunity to post this wonderful, articulate, touching and intelligent tribute to 9/11 on her Instagram page - on September 13th. From London. While she appears to be wearing one of her father's mesh shirts. And where is Lindsay even supposed to be here? She looks like she's sitting in a torture dungeon from one of those Hostel movies - only this time Lindsay isn't the one being tortured - the tortured are forced to sit down and listen to Lindsay.


They always come back. I love you NYC they always come back. I love you NYC #godblesstheworld #michaeljackson #rip miss you as my real only private friend. For you: god, for all hurts and wrongs, please let me forgive, Allah please let me be forgiven, and all forgive themselves. Please and thank you. (Someone I was with the night before several towers fell, it felt like not a curse, but more like a spell.. What we think in America is not always clear, we don’t have @peta commercials / you just kill deer….with this being said, I’m a girl with a reputation mislead… Like a diamond in the rough, you, now, for 25 years have seen me on TV and screen.. So i am programmed to stand tough. Black or white – in life, rather than love we create a fight of an ideal situation of an unexceptional, yet unacceptable future that @TMZ @Eonline @HarveylevinTMZ & #harveyweinstein ..couldn’t and wouldn’t even care to describe any thought of the people we forget to help when a franchise film comes out and, If money means more than freedom- than stay in California. If helping others is a passion, talk to angelina jolie… If you want to be a brilliant actress, work wth Meryl Streep …at the end of the day- republican or democrats —- BE HERE NOW @oprah and live with integrity. Or go to sleep. The most beautiful life comes cheap. Stop fighting and using artists for distractions. It’s boring… #UnitedNations

 

That's right republicans and democrats - you need to be uh...there with Oprah. Lindsay however, failed to specify where "Here Now @Oprah" is. Does she mean we should all move into Oprah's house with her? I guess so. I just love how Lindsay wrote "#godblesstheworld" and then "michaeljackson." Is she saying that Michael Jackson is God now? Yeah that's it. The old God we all grew up believing in must have retired and Michael Jackson took his place. This must explain why Justin Bieber became famous.

Look! Here's more:

Notice how she never capitalizes "god" but she does for Allah. To be fair she never capitalized Angelina Jolie or Oprah either, but she did capitalize TMZ, Eonline, Meryl Streep and Harvey Levin of TMZ. So in the two times she wrote God's name, neither one got capitalized but TMZ gets capitalized - TWICE! 

Isn't it also precious how Lindsay preaches that these particular individuals are implicit in turning a blind eye away from others in need as "the people we forget to help when a franchise film comes out," yet just last year on her reality series, Lindsay, she was bitching to her life coach(!) how her agent, Jason, wouldn't fight Marvel hard enough to have her considered to co-star in The Avengers.

I think I've spent enough time trying to decipher this foolishness. So I'll just leave with Lindsay's parting sentiments "The most beautiful life comes cheap." Yes. Yes it does, Lindsay. Especially when you're dancing on a yacht of the coast of St. Tropez, France on a warm summer night - like you did two weeks ago.


#NeverForget #LiveWithOprah #DanceOnYacht

Image Courtesy Instagram

Published in Celebrity Gossip Tagged under Lindsay Lohan

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